Iced coffee…

Don’t you just hate that feeling of being scammed because you’re not one of the locals?

This afternoon, my wife and I take the kids for a stroll through town and along the promenade of Le Lavandou, and after about an hour or so, we finally reach that golden moment – which doesn’t happen often anymore these days – that both kids are asleep while we are awake. It’s almost a sign from the gods. You can finally have a coffee together and talk, like, have a real conversation as if you’re still free from the shackles of parenthood.

We decide to sit down on a terrace where several other people are having a coffee. A good sign. My wife asks the waiter if they have ‘coffee with ice’ in her best French. It is apparent that we are not from here. The waiter responds, “Oui, dirklsjrnrifklskfjjfkekkckrlskkrmdkfkf, madame”, as if there would be any chance we would understand.

We ordered two.

A moment later, a French lady next to us orders exactly the same thing, using the same exact words as my wife just did. This is important!

A couple of minutes later the waiter comes and delivers us not our order, but instead, the bill. Eighteen euros for two coffee… What the hell? Is this coffee with liquid gold, or what? Five minutes later, our coffees arrive.

Not sure what kind of circus this is…

Not exactly coffee…

A bit later, the French lady that made the exact same order got her cup of espresso with one scoop of vanilla ice cream.

I hate it when they abuse the fact that you don’t speak the language fluently to ‘upsell’ their product. Don’t get me wrong. Nine euros was a fair price for what we got. It’s just not what we ordered. The lady that ordered the exact same thing, using the exact same words got exactly bwhat we wanted. She probably paid a lot less.

I wanted a ‘coffee with ice’, not a café coupe de ‘whateverthefuckingnamewas’. I’m pretty sure this waiter was very well aware of this. Why did he not upsell the lady’s coffee? Because he’s a sneaky French weasel! And we were stupid easy prey.

Anyhow, it tasted pretty good. Maybe this guy just recognized new needed a good dose of energy. So we spent our ‘time off’ eating this ‘coffee’, instead of talking. Tomorrow there’s another day, another chance.

Published by Robin Heinen

Father of two | Husband | Entomologist and Ecologist | Postdoctoral Researcher @ TUM | Traveler | Coffee Addict

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