Not today…

I will keep my writing very short today. I woke up this morning and it seemed that my head was not functioning, like some fuze had blown up somewhere, and I could not apply any focus on anything. The interesting part of it, is that I was very aware of this, that I could in a strange way focus on not being able to focus.

When I opened my e-mail in the morning, I struggled formulating a sentence in the first message I wanted to respond to. My brain wasn’t working, so I decided to take two days off instead. It would be good as well to take some time to arrange some personal things, such as registering our camper van, and picking up some click and collect stuff for using it better. At the registration, my focus was still nowhere to be found. I struggled a lot when I was talking to the German lady at the other side of the counter. She asked me to make a phone call to the insurance company to get some number. The lady on the other end of the line sounded very confused – likely because I kept repeating different names for the same number. I somehow managed to get what I need and sort everything out in the end, but I still felt confused and still could not focus. Even now, my head still feels fuzzy. I notice it even for writing this blog. I had a couple of ideas to write up, but I forget the storyline – even if I can still remember the overall theme. I’m really not feeling myself today.

I wonder if my body’s immune system is absorbing all my energy after getting vaccinated, and that it is limiting the glucose sent to my brain – like a immune – brain tradeoff. I don’t know. Given that my brain is not up to par, this theory might make no sense. I’m highly sensitive, so I was in a way expecting a stronger response, but I hope it will fade away soon. Seeing the functional limits of my brain dip deep below my standard levels feels very disturbing.

So for those looking for more interesting reads. Sorry to disappoint. Not today.

Published by Robin Heinen

Father of two | Husband | Entomologist and Ecologist | Postdoctoral Researcher @ TUM | Traveler | Coffee Addict

One thought on “Not today…

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